THE DIAPERLESS LIFE @ 32 Months

Posted by Carol:

This post is not for the poop-adverse. I suppose most of us are poop-adverse, but after having a dog and kid - I guess I'm more poop-weary than adverse. It is what it is, you know?

There were actually very few accidents during Julia's potty training - which I'd say took place during the first two weeks of May - although I suppose it only officially ends when we no longer congratulate her everytime for using the potty successfully. Wayne and I were lucky in that once Julia seemed ready to try this time around - she did not require much in the way of rewards (like hot wheel cars, princess dolls, or sticker reward charts). In fact, as she loves birthdays, the happy birthday song and simulating birthdays - all we had to do was light a candle, sing her the happy birthday song and let her blow it out. For "number 2" we gave her a lollipop. She still expects one when she remembers.

As long as she needs us to help her get up and down the potty, I suppose it'll be hard not to congratulate her for going pee and poo. I mean we're right there and it seems so jaded not to be happy about it. Julia has no concerns about privacy - I think it's more nature than nurture, even though Wayne and I have had an open bathroom door policy. Some of my friends' kids, unlike Julia, would leave for another room or go behind a curtain to go poo poo. Julia has been kicked out of the bathroom twice, once by her cousin and once by her friend, who must have been thinking, "Why are you hanging around when I'm doing my business?" I'm going to admit that as much as I look forward to not having to help Julia everytime she has to go, I am sentimental at this point, at the thought of not being part of that aspect of her life someday. Twisted, I know. Reminiscent of Stockholm's Syndrome, I think.

So, while it was relatively painless with potty training this past month - it was a long journey to get to this point. It started when I briefly considered the "early toilet training" or "elimination communication" movement, in which parents supposedly learn their childrens' rhythms and how to cue babies to poo or pee. I had thought it might be a nice environmental gesture to reduce Julia's diaper waste. And at 5 months, I did hold Julia over the toilet once for a succesful bowel movement, but I just couldn't follow through with it - didn't really believe I could pick up on her rhythms and teach her how to go on cue. Supposedly though, more than 50% of kids worldwide are potty trained by age 1, so if you have the initiative, go for it and let me know how it goes.

Then, when Julia was only 21 months old, she made a connection of what poo poo and pee pee were and used the potty successfully for a couple of weeks. We gave her stickers and stamps when she was successful. Why did the potty training fail back then? For one, I don't think we were ready for the work involved. For all the complaints about diaper changing - they are actually pretty convenient. But I guess she might not have been that ready either, we'd have to wait a long time while she'd sit on the potty readying books, singing songs, for anything to happen. She also had many accidents, and didn't really seem to mind the fact.

I can't remember for sure, but I think it was one particular accident that got me to postpone potty training last year. Ready for most awful diaper training story, ready? While cleaning up a poo poo accident, Julia had another poo poo accident - semi-diarahea. Not realizing the latter, I turned around to find Ralphie eating the poo. The Horror - The Horror! Julia got her squinty-eyed puzzled look face. I just explained that yes, Ralphie is eating the poop, he should not and we're going to have to wipe his teeth. For all those who must still go down the path of potty training, here's hoping things go more smoothly.

To end, I just wanted to share a fun book and video (youtube link) , both with Japanese origins, that have been helpful in Julia's potty training. Enjoy and marvel in the honesty!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFVoLz88hiU

http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Poops-My-Body-Science/dp/0916291456

Cool Trick

This video is from December 2007, but had to be shared. Since birth, Julia has been able to eat while sleeping. For those of you who watch Yo Gabba Gabba, this is known as cool trick, cool trick!

Two and Two Make Five

POSTED BY CAROL:

Julia: I want that pink bagel.

Me: Oh, that's actually a pink frosted donut.

Julia: Aaaauuuuggghhhh! Waaaahhhh! (Tears flowing) It's a pink bagel!!!

Me: Um, sorry, it's a pink donut.

Julia: Aaaauuuuggghhhh! Waaaahhhh! (Tears continuing) It's a pink bagel!!!

Me: Okay, okay, it's a pink bagel.

Julia: [silence] (Walks away from me with cold glance). It's a donut mommy.

Ouch, that was a good reminder of how Julia owns me. Also appropriate that Julia would remind me of how a toddler's tantrums has the power of torture a la Orwell's 1984, where the narrator capitulates to his handler and agrees that reality is what Big Brother says it is, even if it means that 2 + 2 = 5, or that a donut is a bagel. Julia was the narrator's great love in 1984 before she betrayed him to Big Brother. In high school, I had a short list of name possibilities for future children and Julia was one of them. After reading 1984, the name Julia seemed synonomous with duplicitous. I guess I forgot about that when we picked Julia's name, so it's funny that I would now remember this through Julia's Big Brother-like behavior.

I've learned my lesson that I must try to hold out against Julia's insistence on her own fake reality. So when I got home last night and she was eating a blue lollipop and told me that she had gone poopy on the potty at school, and then Wayne told me that she had not done so, and then Julia started bawling - tears streaming, snot flowing, and blue water coming out of her mouth - crying, "I pooh poohed on the potty (a supposed requirement for getting lollipops)" it was very hard, but both Wayne and I stood our ground and refused to comfort her by agreeing that she had pooh poohed on the potty when in fact, she had not. We moved on to things we could agree on, like watching "Little Einsteins."

It's very interesting, this stage, when it's apparent that she's tired of being corrected about the nature and names of things and also into creating her own stories. A lot of times it's fun to go along with her imaginative universe, but I don't think potty training will work if we just pretend it's happening. Potty training - I'll treat you all to a post about that later.

B-Earth-Day Boy

POSTED BY CAROL:

Maybe when we hit 40, Wayne and I will motivate to celebrate each other's birthdays like we do for Julia. For the lack of planning ahead, I think Wayne had a pretty good birthday though. The original plan to try for the first time - the super popular Mario Batali Babbo in NYC, somehow ended up as a first time try of Lee's Hawaiian Islander in Lyndhurst. It was a fun campy experience. We forgot to bring a camera, but evidently, there are people who like to share their polynesian restaurant experiences online. http://offthebroiler.wordpress.com/2006/07/10/nj-dining-lees-hawaiian-islander/ My favorite decoration was the puff fish hanging pendant light (unfortunately not shown in the previous link). I think we might venture to go there again to check out Friday karaoke nights. I'm glad we went there because I'm one of those annoying people who say they appreciate "character," but then is usually kind of afraid to actually patronize the old untrendy restaurant.

Anyway, on Wayne's actual birthday, we went to the New York Aquarium, which is in Coney Island. Nathan's Hot Dogs and the Friendly Walrus were the highlights.

It was a weekday, but as it was Passover week, the Aquarium was packed with big Orthodox Jewish families. Most of the families I saw had at least three kids and often the kids would be dressed the same - I guess to help keep track of one another more easily. My favorite family outfit was the Burberry button-down shirts with either black dresses or pants, depending on if they were girl or boy. Very sharp!

We ended the day at Wayne's parents and had a Carvel Fudgie the Whale Ice Cream Cake. Unfortunately, when picking up the cake, Wayne - defending my honor (at least in my mind) - had words with the Carvel ice cream shop guy. Wayne told him that he shouldn't complain about writing on cakes because that was his job. He replied that he didn't have time for me to be changing my mind about what I wanted written. If that's the case, I guess he shouldn't have asked, "just Happy Birthday? no name?" Because then, of course I changed my mind and said, "okay, put down Happy Birthday Wayne." HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAYNE!

Crazy Mama

Posted by Carol:

Today I threw sticks at a squirrel. The squirrel bullied his way into my tranquil "Snow White" moment washing dishes and watching the cardinals and sparrows waiting in line at the suet feeder. He cut in line and wouldn't budge when I tapped the window. I ran past Julia, who was eating her breakfast, and told her that the squirrel was eating the birdies' food again. I'm glad she didn't see me throwing sticks at the squirrel. Though the little rascal deserved it, it's not behavior I want to teach Julia. You know, crazy suburban mama behavior.

Unrelated note today. A classmate bit Julia at school - she was holding a toy he (she?) wanted. She told me when I got home. "Syd bit me. He was my friend." Aww.

Princesses Part I

Posted by Carol:

Assuming that Julia will not soon escape the clutches of Disney's Princess Empire, this is Part I of a series on princesses and how to live with and raise one. Wayne and I did not princess-ify Julia's world for the first two years.

Then, after Halloween, after seeing how cute one of her classmates looked dressed up as Snow White, we thought, it couldn't hurt to shop Disney's after-Halloween sale, could it? Instead of the normal $45 price, I got a Snow White get-up for only $20. When she first tried it on, I couldn't help it, none of us could help it - we all oohed and ahhed and said she looked sooo pretty. So of course, she has gone through a period of wanting to wear that dress ALL THE TIME!

Sometimes, when she's lost her train of thought, she just blurts out, "Ima a princess, I'm Snow White." She's chosen seven of her stuffed animals to be her Seven Dwarves. We sing a variation of the Snow White song, "Someday my prince will come." And sometimes, Dad is the prince and I'm the "bad mommy." (NOTE: Disney does not foster good mom-daughter relationships. Moms are either dead or bad. Think Bambi, Nemo, Lilo, Snow White, Cinderella, Belle) Anyway, see brief clip below (Julia says, "Give me a bad apple. Give me a kiss."):

The Basement

POSTED BY CAROL:
The basement was finished when we bought the house, but in the first six months, we had four different water issues ((1) frozen water pipe outside the house burst and flooded; (2) 100+ year pipe broke and resulted in a slow leak; (3) when the plumber fixed that pipe, some debris must have got loose and blocked the pipe further down the line so that water backed up into the bathroom and flooded our floor; and (4) last but not least, bad grading on one side of the house resulted in water seepage during big storms) that effectively ruined the possibility that we might use it. The silver linings are that we've learned a lot about caring for your home and fixed various issues and now Wayne and his dad are working to make it into the "basement of our dreams." Though I supposed the real basement of our dreams would have more head room. At about 6' 7", not sure we'll be to fit a treadmill in there that Wayne could use without having to hunch over.

They've encountered some interesting things. The scary part (okay, Wayne not a scared as me) - mold on a lot of the sheet rock, but fortunately, just the sheet rock. The different kind of scary part, see picture below.

The previous owner told us an artist had once lived in the basement as a separate apartment. I can see why the artist did not become famous. Wayne somehow first saw the guy as an alien, but I'm pretty sure most other people see the devil. We've covered him back up now. At least he was drawn in more of jovial way I think, not so menacing.

Anyway, Wayne and his dad have been working very hard and Julia is very excited to see her new playroom. When it's done, we'll share the results.