Two and Two Make Five

POSTED BY CAROL:

Julia: I want that pink bagel.

Me: Oh, that's actually a pink frosted donut.

Julia: Aaaauuuuggghhhh! Waaaahhhh! (Tears flowing) It's a pink bagel!!!

Me: Um, sorry, it's a pink donut.

Julia: Aaaauuuuggghhhh! Waaaahhhh! (Tears continuing) It's a pink bagel!!!

Me: Okay, okay, it's a pink bagel.

Julia: [silence] (Walks away from me with cold glance). It's a donut mommy.

Ouch, that was a good reminder of how Julia owns me. Also appropriate that Julia would remind me of how a toddler's tantrums has the power of torture a la Orwell's 1984, where the narrator capitulates to his handler and agrees that reality is what Big Brother says it is, even if it means that 2 + 2 = 5, or that a donut is a bagel. Julia was the narrator's great love in 1984 before she betrayed him to Big Brother. In high school, I had a short list of name possibilities for future children and Julia was one of them. After reading 1984, the name Julia seemed synonomous with duplicitous. I guess I forgot about that when we picked Julia's name, so it's funny that I would now remember this through Julia's Big Brother-like behavior.

I've learned my lesson that I must try to hold out against Julia's insistence on her own fake reality. So when I got home last night and she was eating a blue lollipop and told me that she had gone poopy on the potty at school, and then Wayne told me that she had not done so, and then Julia started bawling - tears streaming, snot flowing, and blue water coming out of her mouth - crying, "I pooh poohed on the potty (a supposed requirement for getting lollipops)" it was very hard, but both Wayne and I stood our ground and refused to comfort her by agreeing that she had pooh poohed on the potty when in fact, she had not. We moved on to things we could agree on, like watching "Little Einsteins."

It's very interesting, this stage, when it's apparent that she's tired of being corrected about the nature and names of things and also into creating her own stories. A lot of times it's fun to go along with her imaginative universe, but I don't think potty training will work if we just pretend it's happening. Potty training - I'll treat you all to a post about that later.

B-Earth-Day Boy

POSTED BY CAROL:

Maybe when we hit 40, Wayne and I will motivate to celebrate each other's birthdays like we do for Julia. For the lack of planning ahead, I think Wayne had a pretty good birthday though. The original plan to try for the first time - the super popular Mario Batali Babbo in NYC, somehow ended up as a first time try of Lee's Hawaiian Islander in Lyndhurst. It was a fun campy experience. We forgot to bring a camera, but evidently, there are people who like to share their polynesian restaurant experiences online. http://offthebroiler.wordpress.com/2006/07/10/nj-dining-lees-hawaiian-islander/ My favorite decoration was the puff fish hanging pendant light (unfortunately not shown in the previous link). I think we might venture to go there again to check out Friday karaoke nights. I'm glad we went there because I'm one of those annoying people who say they appreciate "character," but then is usually kind of afraid to actually patronize the old untrendy restaurant.

Anyway, on Wayne's actual birthday, we went to the New York Aquarium, which is in Coney Island. Nathan's Hot Dogs and the Friendly Walrus were the highlights.

It was a weekday, but as it was Passover week, the Aquarium was packed with big Orthodox Jewish families. Most of the families I saw had at least three kids and often the kids would be dressed the same - I guess to help keep track of one another more easily. My favorite family outfit was the Burberry button-down shirts with either black dresses or pants, depending on if they were girl or boy. Very sharp!

We ended the day at Wayne's parents and had a Carvel Fudgie the Whale Ice Cream Cake. Unfortunately, when picking up the cake, Wayne - defending my honor (at least in my mind) - had words with the Carvel ice cream shop guy. Wayne told him that he shouldn't complain about writing on cakes because that was his job. He replied that he didn't have time for me to be changing my mind about what I wanted written. If that's the case, I guess he shouldn't have asked, "just Happy Birthday? no name?" Because then, of course I changed my mind and said, "okay, put down Happy Birthday Wayne." HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAYNE!

Crazy Mama

Posted by Carol:

Today I threw sticks at a squirrel. The squirrel bullied his way into my tranquil "Snow White" moment washing dishes and watching the cardinals and sparrows waiting in line at the suet feeder. He cut in line and wouldn't budge when I tapped the window. I ran past Julia, who was eating her breakfast, and told her that the squirrel was eating the birdies' food again. I'm glad she didn't see me throwing sticks at the squirrel. Though the little rascal deserved it, it's not behavior I want to teach Julia. You know, crazy suburban mama behavior.

Unrelated note today. A classmate bit Julia at school - she was holding a toy he (she?) wanted. She told me when I got home. "Syd bit me. He was my friend." Aww.

Princesses Part I

Posted by Carol:

Assuming that Julia will not soon escape the clutches of Disney's Princess Empire, this is Part I of a series on princesses and how to live with and raise one. Wayne and I did not princess-ify Julia's world for the first two years.

Then, after Halloween, after seeing how cute one of her classmates looked dressed up as Snow White, we thought, it couldn't hurt to shop Disney's after-Halloween sale, could it? Instead of the normal $45 price, I got a Snow White get-up for only $20. When she first tried it on, I couldn't help it, none of us could help it - we all oohed and ahhed and said she looked sooo pretty. So of course, she has gone through a period of wanting to wear that dress ALL THE TIME!

Sometimes, when she's lost her train of thought, she just blurts out, "Ima a princess, I'm Snow White." She's chosen seven of her stuffed animals to be her Seven Dwarves. We sing a variation of the Snow White song, "Someday my prince will come." And sometimes, Dad is the prince and I'm the "bad mommy." (NOTE: Disney does not foster good mom-daughter relationships. Moms are either dead or bad. Think Bambi, Nemo, Lilo, Snow White, Cinderella, Belle) Anyway, see brief clip below (Julia says, "Give me a bad apple. Give me a kiss."):

The Basement

POSTED BY CAROL:
The basement was finished when we bought the house, but in the first six months, we had four different water issues ((1) frozen water pipe outside the house burst and flooded; (2) 100+ year pipe broke and resulted in a slow leak; (3) when the plumber fixed that pipe, some debris must have got loose and blocked the pipe further down the line so that water backed up into the bathroom and flooded our floor; and (4) last but not least, bad grading on one side of the house resulted in water seepage during big storms) that effectively ruined the possibility that we might use it. The silver linings are that we've learned a lot about caring for your home and fixed various issues and now Wayne and his dad are working to make it into the "basement of our dreams." Though I supposed the real basement of our dreams would have more head room. At about 6' 7", not sure we'll be to fit a treadmill in there that Wayne could use without having to hunch over.

They've encountered some interesting things. The scary part (okay, Wayne not a scared as me) - mold on a lot of the sheet rock, but fortunately, just the sheet rock. The different kind of scary part, see picture below.

The previous owner told us an artist had once lived in the basement as a separate apartment. I can see why the artist did not become famous. Wayne somehow first saw the guy as an alien, but I'm pretty sure most other people see the devil. We've covered him back up now. At least he was drawn in more of jovial way I think, not so menacing.

Anyway, Wayne and his dad have been working very hard and Julia is very excited to see her new playroom. When it's done, we'll share the results.

Baby White Tunnel

posted by Carol:



aka a MRI machine. But to Julia, it's a baby white tunnel. Sounds fun, right?

Julia is prone to febrile seizures, which just means, seizures brought on by sudden high fevers. There's no lasting harm and no cause other than a fever. Evidently, before the age of five, 4% of kids will experience a febrile seizure. But when one parent has had a febrile seizure, then a child's chance of febrile seizure is 50%. I had one as a kid, so it makes sense that Julia has them too. She had two last year. The first one happened with her grandparents as they were heading to Wayne's practice. Because we didn't see it, we didn't realize how scary it was for her poor grandparents and I didn't even realize it was a febrile seizure. The only thing that worried Wayne a little bit was that for a couple of minutes, she was completely limp on the right side of her body. That's atypical of febrile seizures, but not unheard of.

The second one happened while at Wayne's friend's house. She was really not herself, so I tried breastfeeding her to calm her down. I think it was the way she started clamping down, that it occurred to me that she might be having a seizure. I called out to Wayne, who was helping his friend clean up after a party, but I was also imagining the insanity of trying to simultaneously deal with Julia's seizure and a broken bloody boob, so I was working hard to free myself from her as well. Anyway, even though I now know there's no real danger from a febrile seizure, I didn't know it then and the thought that she was dying flashed through me. Felt very powerless. Could not even imagine how Wayne's mom had dealt with it. I hadn't ever witnessed a seizure, and it's pretty darn scary, with the eyes rolling, mouth frothing, the rigid shaking. And I hear that epileptic seizures are even more scary! Anyway, we went to the ER after that one. Again it was atypical.

She had her third (atypical) febrile seizure a couple of weekends ago. Wayne was alone with her driving, and keeping an eye on her because he knew that a fever had started. She went rigid and didn't respond to his calling her for a minute? Hard to tell the time for such a thing.

The neurologist said that even though he felt confident that everything was fine, we might as well get a MRI of her brain, just so we wouldn't have to worry anymore.

To prepare Julia, I showed her pictures of the machine that I found online and tried to describe it in terms that she would like. She likes tunnels, and look it's a small tunnel, oh, so cute like a baby. It's a baby white tunnel! Somehow, Julia decided that not only would she see a baby white tunnel in the hospital, but that Mickey Mouse would be there too. I should have corrected her, but paid for it later when a slurring delirious toddler was sobbing the whole car ride home that she wanted to see Mickey Mouse in the hospital. Um, anyway, overall it went well. She's good with doctors and needles, and the results show she's got a perfectly normal brain. So Julia is good to go.

First Fun Snow of Winter

Wayne gets credit for the nicely shaped snowman . Julia's contribution was deciding that the snowman needed a heart (this was just days after Valentine and a Valentine's Day Lollipop came in handy). Unfortunately, days later, as the red color bled down its chest, it looked like our snowman had been shot!

There's a very very mild hill a block away from us. Julia's too big for that infant sled, but we only used it once last year. If we get to use it one more time, I won't feel like it was a waste.