A difference between boys and girls

On a few occasions in the car lately, Wes and I have been discussing a difference between girls and boys that he has noticed.  Evidently, girls love to draw hearts and boys not so much.  I told him that I thought that the only real difference between girls and boys was that boys had penises (trying to not be shy of using the correct vocabulary), but duly noted, the other difference that I had not known previously, is that one group loves to draw hearts.  Then I said that I didn't really think it was a true difference, but maybe it showed that boys were not very brave because they were just afraid what other boys would say if they were to draw hearts.  "No, no, no - I only draw hearts to show I love someone.  I just don't like the shape. Boys just don't like the shape of the heart."  I wondered then to him whether girls draw hearts more because they just love more, love people, love life, etc.  "No, no, no, it's just the shape." Good observation - but what is the real answer?

Grocery Shopping

Even though it is much easier to shop without kids - in fact, as I remember it, there was one Mother's Day that I went grocery shopping alone and thought that that by itself was kind of a nice mother's day gift - I have fond memories of grocery shopping with them.  It's not just the kind elderly people making a fuss over them as babies and little toddlers.  It's the extra challenges of shopping with them - mundane as it is - that are memorable to me.

With Julia, I remember when she was too big a baby to sit in those infant seat things they attach to carts, but not strong enough to sit up by herself.  I'd try to shop with her in a Baby Bjorn and have to reach and pick up and put down everything from the side to avoid her flappy arms in front of me. . . . A few times when they fell asleep on the way to the grocery store, I put them in the stroller and tried to use that as my cart and the canvas bags I had brought as additional storage to carry items around.  Always wondered if someone thought I was trying to steal stuff by putting items directly into the bags. . . .  When Wes was in his early toddlerhood, he insisted on eating many of the things for purchase - I'd have fun reporting to Wayne the list of things Wes had eaten while shopping - animal crackers, a cheese stick, fruit snacks and a Danimals Yogurt - all in one outing!  Now he enough self-control to wait until we get home, but I still have to negotiate what I buy with him and I come home with more Oreos than I would otherwise.

If I shop with both Julia and Wes now, they like to hang off on either side and pretend to be garbage men throwing the food into the cart.  I get yelled at if I put an item directly into the cart.

Anyways, with Julia in school, Wes is my main shopping partner nowadays.  He's usually a very active participant, down to putting items onto the belt and bagging.  But today he was dead tired and slept through my transfer of him into the cart, throughout the entire shopping trip, and even after being put back into his carseat.  I didn't get to use my reusable bags because the bag of canvas bags I brought in turned out to be his resting pillow.  The nice cashier was taken with sleeping Wes and gave me my 50 cent discount on the bags anyway.

Kids say the darndest things

I explained to Wes today that he and Wayne were going to drop Julia off at a birthday party tomorrow because it was a party only for girls. He responded, "Remember at Julia's birthday, it was only for girls AND boys, girls AND boys . . . no bad guys, right?" Yes, Julia's party was exclusive like that.

Julia's 1st Piano Recital

I meant to post this video back in February, when Julia had her first piano concert. It was a good experience for her and since then, I think she likes learning piano more. Although I have never read "Tiger Mom," I've read articles and heard interviews about it. I've thought about it often while helping Julia practice piano this past year and a half since she started taking lessons. Whether it is a good or bad book, I do not know, but I do appreciate thinking about our reasons for pushing or not pushing our kids. With piano, it started with just exposure to music. And it's become about valuing practice and learning how to practice and developing patience to practice. Six months ago, I was about ready to have her quit. How long she continues will depend on her own passions, but for now, piano has developed into a nice bonding time for us. How long will that last?

Wes Boogie

Our guy likes to dance. I think it looks like Tai Chi meets Aerobics, or something like that. For his 3rd birthday, we got him a kid-friendly (no earphones required) and adult-friendly (volume control is hidden from kid) mp3 player. He's holding it (the blue thing) at the end of this "reel."

Conversations Around a Pumpkin

We've been snacking on the yummy pumpkin seeds Wayne roasted. He had help gathering the seeds from his two little talkative helpers.

CA Trip 2011

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Kindergarten Done

Julia doesn't look that different from her first day of school. And I don't think that she is much different. Of course, she knows more now than before. She's learned to read (both words and musical notes) and to dribble a ball (both soccer and basketball). She knows about worksheets, homework and school socials (without parent accompaniment). But her temperament, personality and interests have not changed that much. She's still a combination of shy, serious and goofy, silly. She's still really into arts and crafts and not as interested in computer or video games. I think this could be her forever - it is amazing how formed we already are when we come into this world - but I know there are friends, teachers and events that come or happen and change you from time to time in your life. I'm curious what it will be when it happens and I hope I remember and find the time to consider who she is becoming and why.

Some of my favorite discussions with Julia this past kindergarten year have been about her Night Time School. Her made-up universe that often parallels her real daytime school. It explains why she's tired in the morning. It explains why I'm wrong (her night time school teacher is smarter than me). She's talked about this convincingly enough that a few parents have asked me whether Julia really goes to a night time school. She learns all about the planets and stars there. She learns baby language there as babies also attend night time school. She's been on the fake cell phone planning play dates and sleepovers and has even been heard gossiping about others! After the Japan tragedy earlier this year, she cried about one of her classmates who she said lives in Japan and has not been back to school. I'm really glad she goes to Night Time School. She already graduated from nighttime kindergarten a couple of weeks ago as she had finished all her worksheets without writing any numbers or letters backwards (unlike daytime kindergarten). So two kindergartens done, looking forward to first grade!

Two Punches Duck

Although Wes is not yet old enough to be part of the Little Ninja's program, he's learning on the side with Julia. They take turns holding the pillow for each other and no one gets hurt :)

Karate Princess

Julia's grandpa called her that when she got home from her first karate lesson and she liked it. She pointed out that it's different than Mulan, who is a warrior princess. We've been thinking about enrolling Julia at our town's karate center for awhile, but perhaps just a little reluctant to be "over schedulers." Several friends have strongly recommended the place and it just seems to offer so much of what we hope for Julia. Focus, confidence, strength, the ability to protect herself. And of top of that, they seem to try and teach them to be good citizens of the earth.

They have an ad in their window with a picture of a child and the statement, "I don't always listen to my parents, but I always listen to the DoJo." Luckily, they say the same thing. (Or something like that). Well, before Julia had her first lesson, they gave us a log and she was supposed to record 10 acts of respect performed. The log had an explanation of respect and where it said, "Showing someone respect is to treat them as you would want to be treated," her eyes widened and she said, "That's what you always say." And I closed my eyes and wished very hard that the ad will be true for us.

Here is some video of her first lesson. I believe this will be part of a great movie made later down the line that shows how much Julia improves :) Listen for Wes, thoroughly entertained, counting with Julia.

Wes at 2

A two-year old is so much fun. If for no other reason, but how they talk and pronounce words. Soup is boop, scarf is barf. (You have to picture Wes so pleased to be wearing a scarf, that he's laughing in a knee slapping way, saying over and over again, "Barf . . . ha ha ha Barf ha ah." He laughs a lot like this - often it seems to his own inside joke. Our neighbor says he seems a little drunk.) For some reason, open is pudding. On top of that, all the new connections they are so excited to make - nothing is boring yet. Wes enjoys pointing out trash and trash cans. I don't remember ever feeling glee when seeing a trash can but Wes does. He also just started noticing cars and is so pleased to tell me, "Mama's car" for any Honda Odyssey he sees and "Valky's car" for any CRV he sees. It's funny, Julia still doesn't really pay any attention to cars. Although, after trying to make a game of identifying different brands of cars on the road, Julia does now note now and again that there are a lot of Toyotas in this world.

It is also fun to see a personality revealed. Wes is already a little man taking care of us. When saying good-byes in the morning, he makes us all give one another a kiss. It's not enough that he gets one, he directs who should kiss whom. When I borrowed Wayne's wallet to pay for dinner at Moe's Southwest Grill, I came back and set the wallet down in the middle of the table. Wes pointed to the wallet, telling me Dada several times until I returned it to Wayne's hands. When leaving him at daycare, he told me to zip up my jacket before heading out. When leaving a Music Together class, he reminded me to take my purse. He has also reminded Julia to bring her lunchbox to school. Part of me thinks this is so sweet. But I know that in time, although he may take care of us, it will probably be with a lot of eye rolling, sighing and impatience. How many of us our with our own parents I guess. Yikes!

Wes didn't use many words until the last few months. Now he's a regular parrot, albeit one that often only Wayne, Julia and I understand. In this video (shaky because I was trying to hold the camera off to the side so that he wouldn't want to try and grab it) you see if you can understand him.



Wes turned 2 a few weeks ago and for once, we had a very, very low key birthday party for one of our kids. As parents with no goody bags to prepare and invites or evites to make, it was delightful. We did make the effort to decorate his cake with characters from his favorite TV show, Boots and Dodo (known to the rest of the world as Dora the Explorer). And Wes was more than happy to just have a few presents to open and for everyone to sing Happy Birthday to him.

Snowballs

We have had an incredible amount of snow these last few weeks. It has also been very cold and I am very sad to report that our latest gas and electric bill is in the amount of $631. Yes, we must insulate. And yes, the kids should wear gloves or mittens outside. Julia is very good about it. Wes refuses. He loves putting on his jacket, boots, hat and "barf" (scarf), but will not wear any of the 6 different pairs of mittens he owns. Luckily, there were a couple of warm snow days around the new year, so he did get to play with the snow with his hands. Here he is throwing snowballs and asking for me to make more at the end.

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Reading!

It has been incredibly interesting and fun for us to watch Julia learn to read. All of the sudden, she's seeing words everywhere. Billboards, the signage on trucks, our kitchen spice rack. She blurts out, "Old Bay," and I'm like what? Oh, you're just reading random things because you can now.

Pre-school did a good job teaching her the different sounds that letters make. In kindergarten, they have reinforced that while introducing "high frequency words" to memorize. In some ways, it's a bit tedious. They practice these high frequency words in little "books" made up of four sentences. "We like to play. He likes to play. The dog likes the ball. We like the dog." It was probably a tedious process when I learned to read to, but it's not how I remember it. I remember the very book, "Farm ABCs," which I still have (my mom may be considered a hoarder by some), when I feel like I figured it out and started reading. It seemed like an epiphany - I probably just forgot all those 4-sentence books that got me there.

In the fall, Julia was starting to sound out words here and there and made us realize that there are so many many exceptions to the reading rules she was learning. Why is the word "post" not pronounced "pahst," but "poste"? Why is "have" not pronounced like "save?" How do know if a word starts with "c" or "k"? So many things we just accept, but Julia is at a stage of actually thinking about reading. It's amazing to think how her brain is changing. We were at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia over the winter break and saw a cool presentation about the brain. They invited us to read words that were different color names, like black, blue, orange, etc. Only the words were printed in colors that did not match the word. For example, the word black might have been printed in orange ink. We were supposed to name the color of the word that they pointed to, but there was always a lag time because our brains our hardwired to read, so that we might have started, "Bla. . . I mean orange." Then they asked for a 5 or 6 year-old who was just starting to learn how to read to do the exercise and there was no lag time at all. These past few weeks, Julia has really gained steam in reading, so I think a month ago, she would have seen the colors first, the word second, but in a few weeks, I think she'll be like the rest of us readers and see the word first, the color second. I know that there are babies who can read from the infomercial, "Babies can Read!", but in the normal world, quite a milestone.

Anyway, here's a little clip of her reading one of her more advanced homework books.

Step Into Boredom

"White horse, brown saddle. Black hoof." Words - verbatim - from a Step Into Reading book that sells itself as the perfect first step for your kindergartener who is eager to read. Julia purchased the book - based on the upcoming Disney movie remake of Rapunzel - from her school's first Scholastic Book Fair. She was very happy to buy it. Now, she is worried that the movie will be like the book!

To be fair, the back of the book does say that it is about how Rapunzel loves colors. But really, how can a kindergartener get excited about a book that makes no effort to tell a story? There's an interesting picture of Rapunzel singing on a table while Vikings toast her with their mugs of beer, but all it says is, "Rapunzel wears a purple dress." The "story" ends, "Rapunzel is happy. She loves colors. She loves the lights." I know it's useless, but still I wrote to Random House to complain.

Julia and I did have fun though, imagining if all princess stories were told so stupidly. Snow White meets the 7 dwarves. They wear different colors. Prince Charming's hair is brown. Snow White is happy. The end.

Julia's 5th

In hindsight, we're glad Julia asked for a backyard art party. It took a lot of planning and finger crossing for good weather, but it was a really beautiful day. Our friends, Joyce and Steve, were awesome enough to make us this video slideshow of the pARTy. The kids got to decorate their own goody bags, journals, rubber duckies and party hats. They made their own colorful lollipops and spin art with water guns turned paint guns. They played, "Pin the Smile on the Mona Lisa," and just got to paint whatever they wanted on large paper taped over the garage. I think Wayne and I had almost as much fun as the kids.

Wes - 15 months

(warning: the following post is too long and may be boring to everyone else other than me. More than anything else in this entry, I just wanted to remember as much as I could about Wes at 15 months).

To really remember a child's firsts, I would have to keep a daily journal of what my kids said and did each day. So this entry - far from a daily journal - is just a stab at trying to capture Wes at a certain moment. He's changing so much, I just want to remember something at this point in time because Julia is a constant reminder that I will not be able to remember I love about this specific time (all of Julia before who she is at this moment kind of blurs together).

So . . .

Wes loves shoes. I bought his first shoes (not counting Robeez and Robeez knockoffs) - Stride Rite sneakers - a few weeks before he started walking (May 24, 2010). The first two times we put them on him, he hated it and screamed bloody murder. The next time, I slipped them on his feet while he was napping and he was okay with them. After that, he quickly associated shoes with going out (a byproduct of a no-shoes household) and was happy to have us put them on him. In fact, when Wayne and Julia would leave in the morning, he would desperately go to the shoe rack and point back and forth between his feet and his shoes to say that he also wanted to go out (I sure hope I can catch this on video because it is beyond adorable). Since he doesn't really talk yet, his gestures were accompanied by, "Aaa, aaa, aaa." He brings us our shoes when we're getting ready to leave. But it's not just about going out, he reminds us to remove them from his feet if we forget after getting home. I think he likes having the responsibility of shoes. Or he likes the ritual of them. Or he just likes that he knows what they're about. (Postscript, at 16 months, "shoes" is one of his first 5 spoken words.)

Wes bites. Julia and I have bite marks and bruises from him. I never imagined I'd have three bite marks on me at a time. And while I have been sharp with him, I don't feel mad. 99% of the times that he's bitten, it's been out of playfulness - he doesn't understand. He thinks that when I say no and wag my finger at him, it's a game. He now smilingly wags his finger back at me and I do my best not to melt. Julia has been amazing. She has gotten upset that he's hurt her, but she hasn't gotten mad at him either and hasn't ever taken a retaliatory action for his biting. We try to say, no bite, kiss. Or try to give him something he can bite.

Wes has communicated for awhile even though he hasn't consistently used words. He learned sign language for the word, "more," early, but has used it to mean, "want." The first words that I was certain he understood were "Deng" (ceiling light) and "Ralphie." One of his consistent words at this time is "Aarf." I guess he might hear that "word" more than any other. Thanks Ralphie. He says this whenever he sees any animal, including the birds and squirrels he sees on our walks. His "Aarf" is very convincing and many a dog has turned their head back at us wondering what the heck they just walked by. He also says two Chinese words, "Bao bao" (asking to be picked up) and "Hua" (flower). Oh, he loves flowers, always pointing them out to us. Somehow, he knows only to ask us to pick him weed flowers on our walks.

Lately, he says, "Ba" in combination with pointing to mean that he wants whatever he's pointing at. He also says a disgruntled, "Aaeem," when he is upset. Julia claims it's a bad baby word and frequently tattles on Wes for saying, "Aaeem." Once, when I made light of her complaint, she told me that "Aaeem," means that Wes wants to bite, hit, kick and pinch us forever. Wes also says, "Ahm," not to be confused with "Aaeem." "Ahm," means he wants to eat. And yes, it is embarrassing when he puts his face to my chest and says, "Ahm, ahm." Sporadically, he does seem to use "Mama," "Dada," "Ball," and "Mo" appropriately.

Wes mimics many things now. He learned early on to point the remote control at the television so we try to keep it hidden when watching something or else we won't be watching it for long. He has also pretended to talk on the telephone for awhile now. When someone else is actually on the line, however, he tends to just push buttons. He uses a hair brush and a tooth brush too.

Wes seems to have an instinct for sports. He loves balls. He throws well, he kicks well (for a 15-month old), he likes to hit the ball around with a stick a la field hockey. After "playing" t-ball just once at nana and baba's house, he dragged the tee out the next time we were there and placed the ball on the tee himself. Without any encouragement from us, he likes to try to throw the ball into the basket. I'm just amazed how natural it is for him and wonder if this means he's destined for greatness. No really, I just wonder how much we can predict from a toddler's behavior. (On the flip side, I'd like to think that Julia's current indifference to athletic activity doesn't mean that she won't like playing any sports.)

Wes loves waving. I love hearing other kids excitedly tell their parents that the baby waved at them. More than peek-a-boo, he loves playing the game of waving. He'll wave to you across the table, then wave to you again. Then he stretches his hand as high as he can and waves to you with a really happy excited expression on his face. It makes me wish I was that happy to see people.

Wes loves Julia - he loves hugging her, barreling into her until she falls down. If she cries or whines, he starts to cry.

Miscellaneous: he likes pushing belly buttons, tapping our noses and giving me his smelly feet to smell. He likes climbing - it's hard to keep him off our kitchen table and chairs. He won't sit still for books and doesn't care for milk. He's sensitive to being told, "no," and he's not so good at faking crying (we know when it's fake).

Anything else? I guess, if you can't tell from the above post, I'm very very much in love with him.

American Idol

I wonder if anyone has ever auditioned for American Idol with a performance of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. If not, I hope Julia doesn't become the first. We watched an AI show with her tonight and she is excited. She wants "to go to sing at the place with the judges" and she wants to go to Hollywood. She said, "I think I am the best singer who sings everywhere (pause) Rudolph the red-nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose . . . ."

So while Wayne and I are happy that Julia can now watch a show that we want to watch, I can already see how this show throws a little wrench into our mantra that the important thing is not being the best, but trying your best. And having fun. Julia's at the age where everyone says, you can be anything you want be. For now, of course, we can continue to encourage her in whatever she loves, but at some point, we may have to intervene/re-direct, so that she does not end up on the audition reel highlights of American Idol. I mean, all those clueless people - couldn't their parents have done something?

Between Christians and Devils

Between Christians and Devils, Julia turned 4. Literally. Her birthday party - held at a central New Jersey farm - was under a tent situated between a Christian retreat and NJ Devils' (a hockey team) corn maze registration tent (some sort of fan appreciation event). A hay tunnel for kids opened out on one end by the Christians' tent and on the other, the Devils'. People could also enter and exit the hay tunnel through an opening in the middle, which is the one Julia and her friends used since it was right next to our tent. It would have been funny to have noted which direction the kids chose to go once in the tunnel. As it was, I don't think many of the kids exited either end of the hay tunnel. They just came back out to us, telling us stories about hay monsters and the like.

This year, we decided to invite everyone from Julia's class, so it was her biggest party ever. A week before, as she attended he friend's transformer-themed party, she declared that she was going to have a Princess-Transformer-Apple-Picking Birthday party. I thought briefly about trying to satisfy that request, but we stuck with a general apple/farm theme. We gave a nod to princesses by putting a Snow White (eating an apple) cake topper (homemade by Julia's aunt) on the cake. Despite rain, we had a really great time and I think the kids loved getting wet and muddy and hay-ey and picking apples and feeding the animals.

Our friends, J and S, were nice and talented enough to make this picture/video slideshow of Julia's birthday.

They're Breaking Our House

That's what Julia says. It does feel like that I have to admit. It all started with the need to replace the old red roof, broken gutters and crumbling chimneys. Then we figured, while we're at it, how about replacing the siding which had a few minor issues and also the sagging porch. Then Wayne decided to redesign our back deck and work on it with his father all at the same time. It's just a wee bit crazy. We're still in the midst of it all. Julia has been handling it pretty well but has told the contractor that they are hurting our flowers (decimating is more like it) and has told us that she prefers the red roof.
I found some pictures of the house when we bought it. Umm, the house looked pretty good. Were we completely crazy to start this whole thing?
We are excited that we're going to have the original wood siding that was under the aluminum and vinyl siding restored. We're also glad that the crumbling brick chimney and brick supports under the porch are going to be solid. We're going to get blown-in insulation too (currently there's no insulation in the walls at all!) and take care of the tax credit that Obama is giving for weather-proofing one's home. At this point, there's no going back anyway.






The scallop/shake design and the square cutouts to the left had been previously covered.


Wayne's deck project. He's already gotten a nasty gash down one leg and bruised the other one doing this project. Luckily, his dad has been safe.

Our haunted-looking garage. We discovered that the sagging roof and leaning walls were worse than we had thought. On the right side, some previous owner had actually added on some wood before wrapping it in vinyl so that the walls would look straighter than they actually were.

I hope it won't be too long before we can post some pictures of a non-haunted-looking and hazard-free home!

Tickling Wes

Julia loves to kiss Wes and make him laugh. She'll copy gimmicks that others use if they make Wes happy. The chin-tickle shown above was borrowed from Aunt Valky.